Make him fall in love with you!

How can I make him fall in love with me?' This is one of the questions we ask when we meet someone and when we truly like a person. Far from strategies, preconceived ideas and tips conceived to drive him crazy after he sees you for the first time, the best is to read about the most important features that can make him fall in love with you.



Often we want to attract and seduce a man and perceive this as a challenge, without realizing that it represents more than that. You need more skills and patience to succeed in this endeavor. It certainly worth’s the effort, if you consider a long time project with him. I have a friend who tried for 10 years everything that can pass through the mind of a woman to seduce a man and just when she lost her hope, he dedicated his whole life to her.




Important characteristics
The best option, beyond all your qualities that could attract him, it is to have a strong sense of realism. At the same time it is very important to attract him by making use of the features that characterize you, defining your personality: naturalness, creativity, spontaneity and the ability to avoid routine.

Experts claim that the naturalness implies freshness, regarding both the attitude and the external physical appearance. Imagine the following situation: you seduce the guy you like and it comes inevitably the moment when you sleep together. Even if a part of him was conquered by the person who uses dozens of small female tricks, as we all do, he will wake up in the morning next to 'another' woman, a woman he must like as much as before.

Spontaneity means not to lose your ability to laugh, in these circumstances, when you may be concerned to drive him crazy.




Independent, but without exceeding the limits
Your mother and grandmother's advice always say to try keeping our 'cold blood' and out head on the shoulders even when we are so in love that we feel like floating on small clouds. The best advices are influenced in the first weeks or even at the beginning of the relationship, by the strong desire to be next to him. You have the tendency to see your friends less often, to spend much less time immersed in the problems related to your career and to put on top the date with him or, when it's not practically impossible to be together, the moments when you dream with your eyes open.

This is a sensitive point. The independence is good, but men don't necessarily want this from a woman. He must see that you need him in your life, that you need his presence. The experts sweep away the myth of the independent woman who attracts men unconditionally. The truth is that I really wouldn't like to be next to a man who seems not to need me in any way.




Give him the importance he deserves to receive!
Strictly related to the ability to show him that you need him, but without being perceived as desperate to have a relationship or to seduce him no matter what, is the ability to make him feel that, in those first moments, he's important for you.

You can show him this by respecting him as a person and by showing him that you consider everything related to him: his presence next to you, the things he shares with you, the topics discussed.

Another important thing is to try, without exceeding the limits, that you know the person in front of you. Many times, when we fall in love, we intend to imagine all sorts of things about the person we like: we add him features and feelings that, maybe, he don't have, we imagine that we can 'read' different things in his behavior. We also create an idealized image and too little real about that man.




Get interested in what he likes!
You don't have to become the fan of his favorite football team, to dress only in the colors of his team or to force your cat to wear a neck bell that plays his anthem! It's enough to care about him and to ask about his passions and things that interest him and, eventually, to spend your time next to him and to his 'passion'.




Don't think only about your needs!
If you're desperate to be with someone or marry, you should know that these things are perceived by others. Also, if your past relationship affected you, he will feel this. This warning addresses to those who think they could hide certain facts.

There are many factors that can influence the way in which the relationship between you and the man you want next to you will take place. It's good to understand that you can't control all these factors.

Falling in love is related to the first impressions. If you are not his type of woman, you could be Aphrodite as well, because there is nothing you can do about.

I think you should keep in mind one thing: try to enjoy every moment and to perceive your dates as being something special.

5 Things you should never say to a single woman

Single women are able to take care of themselves without receiving valuable tips from friends! So, whatever your intentions are, let your friend to handle her relationships on her own.

Here are 5 phrases you should never say to a single woman:

1. Perhaps you're not trying hard enough...
It seems that you're judging her, although you just want to be helpful. You should encourage her to explore new relationships and not to give up her love life as long as she feels comfortable. Don't force her to take decisions she might regret later!




2. You should use more makeup
In this moment, you’re suggesting that it's very easy to find Prince Charming as long as you wear enough makeup to hide your wrinkles. Your friend might feel offended. Basically, you're attacking her identity. Whether she adopts a glamorous style or a natural one, every woman has the right to be herself. Somewhere, there is a man who is attracted by her style, whatever it is. If she behaves differently than usual, then she will meet men who have nothing in common with her.




3. You should go out more!
Your friend will understand that she has no social life. Well, here's something new: single people don’t live in a closet, in fetal position, waiting for a miracle to happen! By the contrary, most of them work, meet their friends to events and go out for dinner. They just haven't met yet their soul mate.




4. You're too demanding!
This phrase emphasizes that someone who is single at this point of his life is not entitled to make choices. It's not nice to say that, if you have some respect for your friend.




5. Take it easy...
This phrase can be translated into: "You're asking too many questions. You will make him run away. You have too many opinions. You work too much." It means that your friend wants too many things and that she risks disturbing her partner by adopting this attitude. Well, if she has a strong personality, than she won't listen to your advice; moreover, she will feel offended by your words, because they are unjustified. Getting involved in a relationship means much more than chatting with the other.

6 Truths about couples

Many partners seem to live their lives playing the marriage game. We are by celebrities who joke about the fifth, sixth or the seventh of their marriage. Instead of changing continually their partners in search of a happy relationship, people should learn to manage their conflicts, anger and misunderstandings that are common to all relationships. Unfortunately, the partners start a relationship without having some rules for both sides to face some strong negative feelings, which are also an inevitable part of relationships.

1. Each relationship has its own reserve of hope



Studies show that the most destructive quarrels and conflicts start from some good intentions. These good intentions form the basis of a hidden reserve of hope, which helps the partners to create a relationship full of satisfaction.

2. A single shot can cancel 20 moments of gentleness and understanding.



We discovered that it's enough just one major fight to cancel many hours of gentleness offered to the partner. The key: intimate partners must learn how to control the exchange of negative behaviors by finding a way to express their feelings in a constructive manner. The constructive expression of criticism is a problem related to our way of 'showing' ourselves to the others and choosing the best time and place for a conversation.

3. Small changes in you can lead to major changes in the relationship.



We started our research figuring that it will be easy to discover the differences between happy couples and the less lucky ones, and, although it seems that these differences are clear, they are really small and subtle. Most couples who have difficulties believe that to improve things, there must take place extraordinary changes, even a miracle. And because the human nature is as it is, most of us, when facing relationship problems, believe that the partner must do the changes and not us; we don't realize that we don't have control over the partner's behavior.

As a result, we develop a kind of helplessness and a lack of hope about our relationship. We think that if he or she could change, everything would be fine. The problem occurs when we realize that by doing even small changes in us; we can obtain a great effect, as the possible changes make us more optimistic and open to our partners.

Add to your relationship a compliment told to your partner related to the way he looks and reduce ironies from your relationship (ignoring your partner when you're angry).

4. The way in which differences are managed lead to relationship problems and not the differences between partners.



Many people believe that their relationship with the partner has problems because there are differences between him/her and the other. We hear many couples saying: 'We are not compatible; he likes to go out, I like to stay home'. Or: 'she goes early to bed; I'm a guy who stays until up late at night.’ These explanations are a way of motivating why relationships don't work and why the partners are unhappy. But rather than focus on the understandings or misunderstandings of the couple, the partners who want a happy relationship should improve their listening skills.

This has nothing to do with eliminating differences, with forcing a consensus or advising the other. The listening skills, understanding and accepting the differences is the most important. Having a good listener means to have a good friend. In a happy relationship, a partner can count on the other as he counts on a good friend and not on a player or counselor.

5. Men and women fight with different weapons, but suffer the same wounds.



Not only than men and women suffer the same wounds, but they also support them in achieving the same objectives: acceptance, support, affection. When partners try to understand what goes wrong in a relationship they tend to look more at the weapons they use than to the final goals that are much desired by both. When we focused the research on the common goals of men and women in a relationship, we revealed many wrong opinions related to the differences between men and women in a marriage.

Contrary to the conventional opinion that men have 'problems with intimacy' and women tend to over react, men and women differ very little in their desire for intimacy and connection. From a variety of reasons, biological and cultural, men have more difficulties in managing a conflict, and women find hard to stand the emotionally distance. Often, men avoid and run because of the uncomfortable situations related to their marriage and women feel the immediate need to solve any conflict through discussion.

6. The partners need to 'practice' skills of having relationships in order to manage in this area.

7 Signs that he won't take you out to a second date

You meet for the first time and he is kind and polite. But his body language offers you clues about how much you attract him. By analyzing his behavior during your first date, you can tell if he will take you out or not to a second date.



1. He doesn't look into your eyes. Even if he is shy, a man who finds you attractive can't take his eyes away from you.

2. He doesn't touch you subtle. If he is attracted by you, he touches delicate your arm, your hand or your back, while you talk or go near one another.

3. He doesn't smile too much. Even he is shy or he has a bad day, if he wants to impress you, he should smile at what you say or laugh when you joke.

4. He doesn't seem interested in you. If a man is interested in you, he asks you about your life, about the things you like, about what you do in your spare time, about what's your favorite music...

5. He doesn't mention anything about a second date between you. If he likes you, he tries to establish a second date or at least to suggest one. Or he can listen to your preferences (film, theatre, music) and invite you.

6. He doesn't accompanies you home or at least to your car. If he is interested in you, he will want to stay as much as possible next to you, from the first minute of your date to the last one.

7. He shakes your hand and says something like: 'It was nice to meet you'. This is what you usually say to a person of who you're not attracted physically and emotionally. On the other hand, kisses on the cheek or a hug are clear signs that he wants to have a more intimate relationship with you.

What does he see when you get naked?

We mirror into the eyes of those who we love. Sometimes, we do it when we are in loved, other times with the fears of the woman who is afraid not to loose. Discover which are the biggest concerns of women, how the loved man truly sees you and what are the best exercises to accept your own image and to become more self confident!

A look in the mirror, naked, in the harsh light of the morning can make every woman to find dozens of defects, more or less real. The truth is that we spend too much time of our life trying to hide these defects, to cover them and not to let anyone to suspect them.
Concealer, push up bra, special body lingerie- all those and many others represent the list of things used by women in these purposes, to hide the defects in order to seem even more beautiful.

The moment of truth comes when you get all these off in front of the man you like; a state of good, which makes you feel confident in your charms reflects on all aspects of your life, from the sentimental life to social life and to the professional one.

Often, women are too exigent with themselves, trying to perceive their own body as a man would do. It is wrong, because a man who is truly interested in a woman will never look at her in this way; and if he does, it means not only that he doesn't love her, but also that he searches for reasons to motivate his lack of feelings. A woman (and not only) is not loved for the perfection of her forms, but for something totally different; If what is on the outside is beautiful, than it is fine, but it doesn't represent everything.

Through his eyes
Women feel beautiful and attractive when they are loved. But the greatest fear of rejection comes from the man they love. Women know that the man next to them maybe has seen more beautiful naked women and they can not stop the things that make them become insecure and even inhibited.

Yes, men find defects, as women do, but these are not so important for them. Some men don't want to be anymore with their partners because those women gained weight, have more and more wrinkles and so on. These explanations are absolutely stupid, being related to the affective immaturity of that man (and not only). This is not a reason for him to leave his woman, but a pretext.

When a man loves, when he chooses to be next to a woman, all the small physical defects of the partner are ignored. We notice them for sure, as they notice ours; but we begin to love those small defects as they are part of the person we love.

A man who finds such pretexts is not able (or was not in that relationship) to love for real and maybe it's better if the relationship ends.

Women are vulnerable when they allow being vulnerable or when they choose to be vulnerable, because their fears belong to them, not to the men in front of who they get naked; they allow to think instead of that man. There are very beautiful women who are obsessed by the existence of minor or imaginary defects, which they amplify, creating true obsessions. But this issue is related to pathology.

Certainly, there are people who don't have physical complexes, as there are persons who have a wrong perception on their own body. We, the rest of women, have moments when we are pleased by our bodies and moments when we don't like to watch too long in the mirror. We are those who should help ourselves to become more self confident, starting by feeling good with our own body.

Practical: self-evaluation exercise
First, women should have a realistic evaluation of their own bodies. The objectivity of evaluation is not about saying "Oh, I look so awful!", but in noticing what are their strengths and weaknesses, their vulnerabilities. The weaknesses mustn't be established depending on the standards used by mannequins, but only depending on the body's harmony and a personal reference (for example, on a certain time when they used to like the way they were looking).

Strengths - beautiful eyes, arched eyebrows, full lips, beautiful shinny hair, beautiful hands, fine nails, firm breasts (not small or big, because it's not relevant), thin ankles;

Weaknesses: not very firm arms, acne, some extra weight, poor depilation, a not very good realized manicure.

Women should mention real defects, not structural- what's the point to cry every day that their breasts are too small or too big if they will never be able to change this? It is nonsense. It must be mentioned only the things that can be changed.

Further, they should read again the list and create a table with the following columns:

1. Vulnerability;
2. What should be done?
3. The best time to start;
4. Deadline;
5. Financial investment;
6. Observations

The list of strengths should be read daily, in order to add the weaknesses from the past that have been fixed. And also, each woman should repeat daily that if she considers herself being beautiful and loved, than the other will do it also. Maybe it is autosuggestion, it doesn't matter; it is important that they will be less anxious and more open to an effective communication with the partner. In fact, this is the key of a happy relationship.

No matter how good you look, you can have fears related to your body. It is important to get over them. And the answer to the question of the title should be: "He sees the woman he desires!"

What not to say at the first date?

Ladies, listen to my advice: no matter how many dates you have had and no matter how clever you are, you can still be the victim of these 4 mistakes at the first date!

1. To talk about your ex boyfriend (each time)
Your potential new boyfriend doesn't want to imagine that someone else than him was next to you. Whatever you do, it's not good: if you start saying good things about your ex, it will seem that you haven't forgotten him yet and if you say bad things about him, you will seem rude.

So even in the most tempting situations (for example- when your current partner meets your ex), avoid telling stories from your former love life.


2. Talking about religion and politics
Avoid starting a conversation on these topics, unless you are both interested in debating such issues. Don't do it even if you're 100% sure that he has the same beliefs as you. You can never know what preferences he has. Of course, there are some interesting and exciting ideas that can help you know better one another; but you should use them only if the conversation comes from itself, without changing the natural direction of things.


3. Talking continuously on the same topic
An evening in which you talk only about your career won't impress him. The same is available for topics like your childhood, friends and free time. Be careful to change the topics of conversation, in order not to be boring.

4. Not choosing the right place for a date
The first date should be in a place that allows a conversation and not places that are addressed to other activities, such as dancing or concerts. After all, how much can you talk? It's unpleasant if you run out of topics ... If so, you can go anytime somewhere else.

The Internet & Your Marriage: Another Woman Shares Her Perspective

Dear Readers, we think of you all so much.  You should see Danny & I reading and discussing your thoughts & emails.  Our hearts go out to every single one of you.  We really do feel love for all of you.

Today we want to continue the thoughts on "The Internet & Your Marriage".  One of our lovely readers read our last post on the topic (as well as the responses) and it stirred her to submit this post.  She said she has never written a blog post, but couldn't not respond to this topic.  I was touched by her story & the way she has chosen to move forward, despite her trial.  While her trial did not begin because of the internet, she wanted to make the point that EVEN IF you have a really healthy marriage, you still need to be diligent about avoiding inappropriate contact, whether it is on the internet or otherwise.

And, I just want to tell this dear reader thank you for writing this.  She said she has kept this experience from everyone as they have decided to not tell their children what happened to them & they are working on starting a new life as a family.  But she struggled with not being able to share what she learned with others, and she was grateful to have this outlet to do so.

I, like Shiloh, felt like the luckiest girl in the world the day I married my husband.  We were best friends and completely in love!  13 years of marriage and 4 kids later we were living the dream.  We had a very healthy marriage.  We had a group of friends that we would go out regularly with, even vacation with.  I felt that a woman from this group was flirty with my husband.  We talked about it and he reassured me that our marriage was safe.  But, she started to pursue him through email and text.  It started out very innocent - - she was asking him for help with something.  As a friendship started, she would tell my husband how lucky he was to be in such a good marriage.  She confided in him that she was not happy in her marriage.  She began to ask for advice on how to make her marriage better.  He felt sorry for her and wanted to help, but he soon recognized that their connection was getting inappropriate & told her it had to stop.  The relationship was exposed and it broke my heart.  My husband felt awful and vowed it would never happen again (even though technically nothing happened!)  I was so hurt, and my husband was so ashamed that it was easier to bury it and pretend that everything was alright.  We wanted it to just go away.  I had been taught all my life to forgive.  I had felt so betrayed by this woman, but again wanted to move on.  I told her I forgave her and things went back to normal.  We still would go out together and I really tried to put it behind us.  A few years passed and it started up again.  After 9 months it became physical.  They were having a full blown affair.  Through this process my husband had completely changed into someone I did not recognize.  To spare you the ugly details, I will tell you that there is a happy ending to this story.  Not to say that we both have not been to hell and back.  My world was shattered, but not all was lost.  You see, I can honestly say I am grateful for this experience.  Our marriage is in a better place than it has ever been.  We have both gained a stronger connection with each other and learned to overcome this trial together.  And we have come to know God in a way that we would never been able to.  I once again feel like the luckiest girl in the world. 

My whole point in telling you this is that good, healthy marriages can still be vulnerable.  Even if you're in what feels like a healthy marriage, you still MUST guard yourself from potential danger.  No marriage is safe.  And if you think yours is, it might not hurt to humble yourself and recognize that no one is immune to temptation.   

My marriage was saved, because we packed up our kids and belongings into our truck moved, OVERNIGHT!  We removed ourselves from the situation that had caused us so much trouble.  I will add that my husband played his part in this.  He absolutely had a choice.  I want to make that clear!  I believe not many go out looking to have an affair.  It does not happen overnight.  It does not happen because of email or facebook!  But if you want to protect your marriage from that temptation, you need to be aware that the danger is real.  It can happen to good people!  Facebook is not bad, but Facebook does give you the vehicle to start a journey that will lead to something bad.  There is an old proverb that says, "A journey of a thousand miles begins with one step, so watch your step."  Looking back, we should have severed that relationship when it became inappropriate. 

Our biggest defense in protecting our marriage is identifying all of the potential dangers.  Recognize how easily things can go from innocent to destructive.  When you are preparing for a battle, you identify the enemy.  You plan ahead to avoid any obstacle that you might face.  Facebook is great for keeping in touch with friends and family, but you should think ahead how you will react in the face of something inappropriate.  It is very hard to resist flattery.  We all want to be accepted.  We all want someone to comment on our picture, or our post or we wouldn't put them on Facebook!   If you find yourself seeking attention from this behavior, ask yourself some hard questions.  Seek to find your acceptance from within or from some higher source.   

I am an advocate of marriage.  I believe there are few problems that cannot be solved ( if both people are willing to try).  Marriage is the most amazing blessing.  Don't give up on it without a fight!  (Even if your husband has an affair on you!)  I want to give that hope to someone who might be going through this right now.  When faced with adversity, understand that it is not the adversity that is the test, but rather what you do with it.  Learn, grow, let adversity teach you.  I am grateful for the things I have learned and for the person who I have become through this trial.

HOW to Feel s....

As a follow-up to this morning's post, here are a few ideas for what you can do to feel like a desirable woman!!

I hope you guys will think of some ideas to add, too... :) :) :)




1. DON'T RELY ON YOUR SPOUSE TO MAKE YOU FEEL CONFIDENT, BEAUTIFUL, OR DESIRED. 

 My dear readers.....this is the most important thing I could pass onto regarding this subject. I've learned this the very hard way.....but I now know that this stuff is only real & lasting if you own. it. for.yourself. Now, it's wonderful if a spouse does offer reassurance to you....but it's best if you don't put the pressure on them to be the sole provider of your confidence! :) Be accountable for this. Learn to feel good about yourself with or without the reassurance of others. Take any compliments as icing on the cake. :)

2. DON'T LET THE MEDIA SET THE STANDARD FOR WHAT IS....
Don't get sucked in. You set your own standard! :) Don't get preoccupied with comparing yourself to magazines, movies, or social media friends. You are a woman. You are beautiful. You are enough just as you are.

3. GET READY. Just a clean outfit and mascara can do wonders for the way you feel about yourself. When you're dressed up, you act different. It changes how you feel and what you do. You're willing to get close.


4. WEAR PERFUME! This is a quick way to just do something extra. And since I'm crawling into bed with vinegar on my face these days...well, the perfume or hand lotion comes in handy. When you're not worried about how you smell, you're a little more comfortable in your own skin!

5. EXERCISE. I am telling you, walking fast, running or exercise of ANY kind can make you feel  more vibrant in just one or two days. I know I'm always talking about it...but it really works. Try it. And, I think feeling athletic even a tiny bit can improve your coordination :) :)

6. BELIEVE THAT YOU ARE YOUR HUSBAND'S WOMAN - After years go by and women age, have kids, etc...it may be easy to start to believe that you no longer fit the bill. But, he's with YOU. He likely works hard everyday for you. He likely gets dressed and takes care of things for you. He maybe has had children with you. YOU are his woman. So feel desired. Because you are....

7. SMILE- this is probably the quickest way to feel desirable & radiant & good about yourself. You can do this instantly. :)

8. MAKE YOUR HOME LOVELY - One's life usually takes place in your home, right? So make it a place you feel good about. For me, I love it when our home is clean and I love the feeling of crawling into crisp, clean sheets. So whatever does it for you.....make your home & bedroom inviting & fresh.

9. DO THE INNER WORK - Take this seriously. Learn to be happy & to feel beautiful REGARDLESS OF CIRCUMSTANCES! And that means even if you need to lose some weight or if you lost your hair, etc.... FEEL BEAUTIFUL RIGHT NOW. Because you are!

Ladies, Let's Be Better

I hope this won't send any bad vibes by me pointing this out so bluntly, but I think some of us women have a problem.  At least a lot of us do.  I've just seen way, way too many of us do stupid things & make bad decisions when it comes to relationships.  And I did, too.  (Oh my.)  And mostly, it's because we are often times SO nice and SO loving and forgiving and it can often work against us when that is not coupled with confidence and strength and a clear vision of the kind of woman we want to be and the kind of man that we want to be with.

SOOOO...we end up putting up with men who aren't marriage-quality or that don't even treat us well.  We fear that we'll never meet anyone else.  And we end up thinking less of ourselves and thinking we should just stick it out or that things are still good (despite horrible behaviors such as A, B, C...Z).  And even though we are in situations that seem so ridiculous to any outsider, in the moment....we can be BLIND!  So let's change that ! :)

Here are a few ideas:

• If you are dating a man who is abusive to you verbally or physically, END THE RELATIONSHIP and for heaven's sake, do not still "desire" his love or his approval.  PLEASE. Believe that you deserve more.  

•   If a man tells you he just isn't ready for marriage or a relationship or just isn't ready to commit.......SAY THANK YOU VERY MUCH, AND GOOD BYE!!!   I have seen WAY too many women stick it out, hoping that he just needs more time, making the whole thing even more difficult on him, making him second guess his decisions, etc.  All along, the woman's self worth is going through the shredder and she feels more and more desperate and needy to be loved by this man who is trying to tell her the answer is "no".  I always say that NEWBORNS need to be baby-sat.  Not 30 or 40 year-old men.  Let them figure out their lives on their own time at their own pace, without you standing by and waiting/hovering/pressuring.  If you have to convince someone or talk them into it, deep down you'll always wonder.  I say end the relationship and find a man whose timing matches yours.  

• If a man you are dating has cheated on you or is even dishonest with you about where he is, who he has been with, etc..........cancel any and all plans to stay in that relationship & feel grateful that this leaked out now instead of after marriage.  I have seen WAY too many women continue to date men who have cheated on them and they actually even still long for him to give them love and attention.  BE BETTER THAN THAT.  DO NOT DESIRE DISHONORABLE MEN.  

Ladies, BE STRONG and know that you can & will meet someone better if you take the actions necessary.  I am rooting for you!!!  Just remove yourself from bad situations and focus on being a better, stronger, happier person and soon enough you'll be aligned with other people who share your ideals.  I don't think we always realize the amount of control we have over the kind of men that we attract.

Has anyone been stuck in a situation like this?   I think it happens to all of us at some point in our lives.  How did you know to get out?

A Marriage Behind Closed Doors

As a spouse, it's kind of cool because you get to see the side of a person that no one else gets to see. You get to see this person's life from the very front row (it's really quite amazing).

The problem is, often times our guard goes down with our spouse.  We might find it easy to say negative things about other people or gossip with our spouses...simply because it can be done behind closed doors.  We might find it easier to vent often to our spouses and become a fire hose of negativity with them, but not others.  Or perhaps we behave badly or speak sharply with our spouses, just because we think we can - even though we don't normally speak this way.  I think these patterns and habits in marriage are very real and common.  And actually, I'm guessing that some couples might feel comfortable with this pattern - perhaps they consider their marriage a safe place for speaking their mind.  Perhaps changing some of the foundational norms of a marriage or relationship seems scary. 

Well - Danny and I, from day one, have tried to maintain our desired character not just outside the marriage, but within it, as well.  And so, that means speaking positively about other people, giving other people the benefit of the doubt, having compassion for those around us, using what Danny calls "The Language of Love", not gossiping, speaking kindly to one another, treating each other like lovers, forgiving those that have harmed or annoyed us.  Our union and our home is never the breeding ground for negativity.  Instead, it's a place where we both work to keep that at bay.  This tradition in our marriage has served us well.  And a nice little side effect:  It builds up a store of good energy which comes in handy when the car breaks down or the roof starts leaking or we're having technical difficulties (pretty much a daily occurrence) or harm of any kind comes our way.  

What about you guys?  Do you think it's important to pay attention to the character you are developing  within your marriage?  Or do you like having a place to just let loose - where it's just the two of you?  I'd love to hear!    

Sending lots of love to all you readers!
(You guys seriously are the best ever.  I don't say that enough.  We're so, so grateful for all of you!!)

My Danny Family During the Hurricane

Sending prayers and thoughts to all those affected by the Hurricane!  Danny and I are safe and sound, but I'm so sad that people are out of their homes or don't have electricity.  I hope people have care and support of loved ones.  

Last night as we awaited the hurricane, we had to move the couch away from the windows cause the wind was SO fierce, loud and scary.  I felt profoundly grateful to not be alone.  Experiencing the hurricane with Danny by my side was one of the greatest blessings ever.  As we crawled in for the night, I just couldn't believe that we had a warm bed and the safety and comfort of each other.  

Have you ever faced a disaster in your area?  Do you remember the emotions you felt?  

It made me think how important it is to have family in our lives; to have loved ones.  Imentioned earlier that after all these years of becoming at peace with my life without kids - I've been facing this unexpected, shocking-to-me-feeling that I don't really "need" kids anymore to be happy and at peace.  I am not desperate for them.  I am now miraculously at peace without them.  And so, on most days leading up to this IVF, I've been struggling a bit with jumping through loads of hoops to get some kids.  But, as I clung to my sweet husband last night as the winds howled outside, I thought about what it might be like without him.  And I thought about what it might be like to have even MORE little Kofoeds in this apartment.  Somehow, Hurricane Sandy made me excited to add more loved ones to this family.  Besides, we could use some more people to help us eat all the food we made during the hurricane.  :)  Kids, you're going to go nuts over these Coconut Flour Chocolate Cupcakes(grain free, dairy free, gluten free) with Paleo Chocolate Frosting.  :)  :)

love,
mara

P.S.  I just saw that my sister-in-law, in Chicago, wrote a post about the hurricane, too.  It's beautiful.  All her posts are.