Until now, I’ve written and written various articles about men. I’ve classified them, placing them by categories and I’ve created different stereotypes, in order to please each of you, men or women. But you know what? There is no universal truth!
There are no categories of men; there are neither angels nor neither daemons, neither good nor bad. Men are just people, just like us, women. We tend to believe that somewhere, somebody did a great list about all their attributes and mistakes, knowing much more than ordinary people do and that he hidden it deeply, into an old cave or into an ancient book. We want to believe it, because this gave us hope and makes us to have greater expectations and desires, in our search for the right man. We like to see a guy on the street and think: “He has green eyes. I read that men with green eyes are romantic, serious, but also day dreamers. Maybe he is not for me. I want a responsible, down to earth guy, to marry me and make some intellectual children like the couple next door.” We don’t say it loud, but we create a mental itinerary, establishing our destiny, as it would be written in the pages of a magazine. We build imaginary patterns of happiness and fulfillment and try to respect word by word the advice of a so called “love expert”, considering that he knows for sure the ultimate truth about men; that he could be one of those who found the ancient book of love.
Well, it’s not quite like this and you know it, I’m sure. Deep in your soul, you posses everything you need to know about men, but when it comes about romance and the perfect date, you just loose your self confidence, preferring to follow some stereotypical lines in order not to be wrong. But are you aware that 80% of women do the same as you? And that a man is forced to hear the same stories and phrases from almost every woman they meet?
Each imitates somehow the other. We see a beautiful women or a woman who has a successful marriage and ask her: “What’s your secret? How do you keep him interested in you?” And she answers: “Well, I tell him how much I love him 10 times a day, I cook for him, I know to recreate the first magical moments in our lives…” and so on. But maybe not all men like to hear 10 times a day “I love you.” Or maybe he doesn’t want you to cook for him, as he prefers to take you out to dinner. Maybe he doesn’t like so much the way you cook. Or maybe he prefers Italian or Chinese food, which you don’t know so well to prepare.
I will repeat myself. There is no universal truth about men, as they are so complex beings. Each man will be perceived differently by each woman who stays next to him. For example, a hilarious guy may seem amusing for a lady, but fool for another. What about the way in which we, women, should behave in the presence of a man? Did you ever though that men can be bored of “reading” the same lines taken from magazines on the lips of every woman? You hear everywhere that you should seem a little bit mysterious and cold, being dressed in a certain way….But maybe the man you’re seeing with, even if it is for the first time, will be more attracted by you if you’re honest, saying him the pure truth: “Excuse me, I have a lot of problems, so I can’t focus very well on our discussion, but I will try to do everything I can, because I’m interested to find out more.” You won’t look desperate; you will rather seem even more relaxed and natural. Maybe you are not so confident regarding the way in which you chosen your outfit.
The magazines will tell you to look always self confident and to keep your head up. But maybe, if you really don’t feel so good, it would be better to tell him: “I’m not sure about the way in which my clothes fit me. More than that, I’m not very comfortable also. These heels are killing me, but I wanted to look a little bit taller;” and to laugh after. Would it be wrong? He will appreciate your humor and the fact that you accept your defects and he will even compliment you.
There are no “10 Tips to seduce him” or “How to flirt with him in the right way”, there is only you and him. And the connection that can or can not be established between you. You can use as many “expert” techniques to make him be with you, but it will all be in vain if there isn’t that “quelque chose”/ “je ne sais quoi” between you. Each people, either it’s about a woman or a man, has a certain light that can be seen only by certain persons. Even if you are the most beautiful, intelligent and stunning woman in all matters, you could be nothing for a man, if that something special is missing. Of course, after making the first steps, the love must be maintained and cared. But this doesn’t involve all kind of tricks & tips; it all must come from the inside.
You should do whatever you feel. Maybe today all you want is to say him nice words of love. Maybe tomorrow you won’t feel so good and your words will sound forced; in this case, you don’t have to say anything, just be sincere and share some memories or whatever you able to say, with him.
And sometimes even the most unsuccessful dates aren’t the result of your actions, so nobody can be blamed. Without that chemistry, all the stereotypes in the world will be just some clichés. The perfect woman or the perfect man is inside you, being part of you. And the loved one will know where to find it, offering in turn his best side.
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