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Friday, 19 December 2014

Love Actually Changes The Wiring In Your Brain

Maybe you've seen this article in the NY Times about how love can change your brain (thx for sending, Sharon!)...

If you haven't read it yet, I hope you will.  

I love it.  


It's beautiful to note that:

"The brain is constantly rewiring itself based on daily life.  In the end, what we pay the most attention to defines us.  How you choose to spend the irreplaceable hours of your life literally transforms you.

It's amazing how much control we have over our own experience!!  The article talks a lot about how the love we receive affects our brains, but it also hints that the love we GIVE can rewire our brains (yes, yes, yes!):  

"One can decide to be a more attentive and compassionate partner, mindful of the other’s motives, hurts and longings.  Breaking old habits isn’t easy, since habits are deeply ingrained neural shortcuts, a way of slurring over details without having to dwell on them. Couples often choose to rewire their brains on purpose, sometimes with a therapist’s help, to ease conflicts and strengthen their at-one-ness.

This is SO powerful!  Since we can't really control the love that we are receiving from others, I say we decide to rewire our brains regardless by CHOOSING to have love for others (& we hope every week to give you real ideas about how to do that!)

Also - one other thought....

If you are just now making some changes in your life - even little ones - and it seems you have a long way to go or it feels as though it's proving to be difficult....

Do. not. give. up!!

Keep moving forward, because....

YOUR BRAIN IS WORKING ON REWIRING ITSELF!!  :)
It will get there.  It needs time to build up what I call a "muscle memory".  Things will get easier, little by little.  :)  I promise!

I can pinpoint the first day I chose to rewire my brain, on purpose.  It was during my first marriage and it was the first day I made a deliberate choice to react differently than I would have otherwise, IN THE MOMENT.  TALK ABOUT HARD!  LET ME TELL YOU! 

Oh man, I wish SO much that I could tell you the details.  It is one of my most awesome stories & one of the most difficult things I've ever had to choose in a moment.  But I deliberately decided to react in a different way to something (& it involved choosing to have love, which I think is the only power that could have helped me to do what I did).  Never in my life had I felt more empowered.  And I can site this moment as the beginning of my own journey - the beginning of the rewiring of my own brain.  And it has gotten easier & easier to react this way ever since.  It only makes sense that my brain has changed.

Can you recall a time when you deliberately rewired your brain and altered your own experience?  Do you think this is possible?

Here's a challenge for today:  Think about something recurring in a relationship of yours that would normally annoy you.  Think about how you could react to it differently by adding love/forgiveness/patience/etc. to the equation.  Decide that the next time this annoyance arises, that you will be ready for it.  See if you can rewire your brain.  

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